Our relationship with money is a complicated one. Many times money is seen as the source of our happiness or lack of it. We make the mistake of thinking that the cause of our unhappiness is not getting or having what we want – specifically the things that money can buy. Have you ever said to yourself if I only had….I would be happy? There are ways to achieve your own personal success so that wanting more money creates positive happy feelings, passion for your partner, excitement for the future and enthusiasm for life.
Helping you understand the meaning of success and your relationship with it is at the core of Dr Lami’s work. Ultimately, success is not just about getting what you want, but also about achieving peace of mind which in turn determines how you feel about yourself. If that feeling is positive, then we feel successful, and if not, then we feel that we have failed. There are people who have achieved great success but are not satisfied, and there are those who cannot wait to have success and are obsessed with it.
So what is success? Success is the identification of a desired, often subjective outcome, which when realized gives the individual a positive feeling.
The biggest mistakes people make in relation to success
There are several common mistakes that people make about success
or and their relationship with it:
a. Success: we equate success with the achievement of money, wealth,
fame or power.
b. Happiness: we think
ing that money and success guarantee happiness
c. Security: we see success and money as the source of our security and
d. Self-worth: we base our self confidence and self worth on how much money
Unhealthy relationships with money can sabotage our feeling of success. For example: if no matter how successful we are, or how much we have there is always a need for more rather than just a desire or preference if it comes our way); if we feel that we are entitled to or deserve, more than others; or if we have difficulties delaying gratification, tolerating frustration, and emphasizing external achievement and financial success over the individual’s personal qualities.
Some of us have a sense of obsession with money or success. We cannot rest until we have it. There are many signs that can point to an unhealthy relationship with success and money. For example:
a. Other people may think of you as self-absorbed, egotistic, vain
, or selfish;
b. You exuberate self-importance;
c. You are addicted to chaos, constantly thinking or worrying about money and
need to be successful by achieving more;
d. You are extremely sensitive to rejection or failure. When
e. You have a higher regard for external achievements rather than internal
ones, so you don’t really value personal qualities.
It only takes one or two of these characteristics and it is likely that you have an unhealthy relationship with money, wealth or success. Of course, for each person, it depends upon the degree and the extent of the issue, and how it impacts other areas of your life.
Is it wrong to desire more?
No, it is not. Money is associated with many things that the human spirit feels good about, primarily the sense of freedom it gives us! The problem starts when wanting more creates negative behaviors such as: stress, anxiety, obsessions, entitlement, physical illnesses like heart attacks, high blood pressure, worry and more.
We need to learn to feel that we have enough at every given moment of our life and that it’s okay to desire more, not to need more. Desire is free of negative emotions and feelings. True happiness comes from satisfying the qualities of both the mind and the spirit, and healthiest situation is when mind, heart and spirit are in balance and integrated.
“All riches have their origin in mind. Wealth is in ideas - not money”. (Robert Collier)
Our Unhealthy Relationship with Money and Success
360 Bedford Dr
Beverly Hills, CA 90210